Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend dead.
Wife says, “Keep that up and you’ll lose ALL your friends.”
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Small Boy writes to Santa Claus," send me a brother."
Santa writes back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER!"
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Three Feelings:
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when your wife is pregnant,
Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant
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Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yea, once my sister said she missed one and my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away.
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Woman asks a man travelling with six children if they’re all his kids.
Man says, “No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.”
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Son asks his dad the difference between confidence and confidential.
His dad says, “you’re my son, I’m confident of that. Your friend is also my son, that’s confidential!”
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Mother says to her teenage daughter: “It’s time we have a talk about sex.”
Daughter (excitedly): “Sure mom, tell me what you want to know.”